Jefferson is freaking me out
My fear of Jefferson grows deeper. For those of you who haven’t heard, I was frightened when Jefferson started getting closer.
He went from
to
It reminded me of that spitting dinosaur in Jurassic Park. You never saw it move, but every time Nedry turned around, it was closer. I figured Jefferson was going to blind me and eat my intestines any minute. I tried to never keep nickels in my pocket, because I didn’t trust him. Well, this morning, I looked at my change and he was looking back at me!
I have put him under a stack of quarters. Big George has my back, so I’m not scared. For now.
September 15th, 2006 at 6:59 am
I dunno, he looks sort of dorky and pleasant in that last nickel. Maybe he’s just looking out for you! The second one does have something a touch sinister about it, maybe, but he also looks a little like a vain posing prettyboy. ‘Do one that shows off my alien cheekbone! And my pretty new scarf! Make sure the scarf’s in it!’
September 16th, 2006 at 11:19 pm
You’ve confused “dorky and pleasant” with “about to kill you”. Jefferson was from the streets, so don’t ever turn your back on him. He’s got the eyes of a caged animal!
September 22nd, 2006 at 3:05 pm
I just thought I’d take a minute to say, You know what? Jefferson freaks me out, too.
September 22nd, 2006 at 10:09 pm
But is Thomas Jefferson as scary as Thomas Edison? I have this pamphlet I rescued from my sister’s room when we were mucking it out called “Meet Tom Edison: America’s most useful citizen.” Apparently the pamphlet is for something called “ComEd.” What’s possibly scariest is that this crisp pamphlet is a 1995 reprint of the original 1968 version. It includes the quote “…he believed anyone could do anything–if he worked hard enough and STUCK to it. He became a great American because he helped make America great.*” I wonder if the Thomases are working together? Edison had his [u]own[/u] science lab at 24 and by 37 had earned a million dollars, which is admittedly a lot of nickels. As a boy he wired cats tails together to generate electricity and electrocuted cockroaches (in separate experiments, I might add). He was also referred to as “The ‘Wizard’ of Menlo Park.” He also invented the first automatic vote recorder. And he never quit, so even though he died still working at 84, he probably has some serious post-death manipulative mojo built up. Plus, he was worth $16 billion when he died, and that’s not adjusted for inflation. Even more nickels. I’m sure it’s a Thomas plot. Don’t forget those new back, either–insidious.
Pieces,
Joanne
*It should be noted that on the last page, the pamphlet slightly alters this stance to “Tom Edison proved that if one tries long enough and hard enough almost anyone can accomplish almost anything….”
September 23rd, 2006 at 7:19 am
Oh my god, those nickels have been freaking me out since they appeared…and I hadn’t seen the one where he’s LOOKING AT YOU. I’m terrified now.